You Don’t Get Along with Your Sorority: Now What?

If you’re one of the sisters who was initiated only to find out that you don’t get along with your sorority, you are not alone. It might feel like it, considering all of the friendships you see around you, but this issue is not unique. Unfortunately, sometimes you find that for whatever reason, you’re on the outs with your sisters, which can be heartbreaking and make you feel isolated. Before you consider something drastic like dropping your letters, see if there are some ways to make your situation a little bit brighter.

First of all, try to figure out why exactly you feel like you don’t get along with your sorority. Is it because of a rumor? A misunderstanding? Does your org have a problem with cliques? If the cause of your isolation is because of a rumor or another girl, try to talk to her directly about it. Scary, I know, but sometimes simple communication can work wonders. Try talking to other sisters as well, maybe some you don’t normally hang out with. You might be missing out on a great friend because you don’t run in the same circles.

don't get along with your sorority

Let’s say that you go ahead and talk to the sister causing your problems and it doesn’t pan out like you thought it would. Maybe she was rude or standoffish, or denied any wrongdoing. Or maybe your situation had nothing to do with another sister trying to cause drama. Your next step is to branch out to other sisters and even alumnae. Ask a random sister to go on a coffee date with you after class, or sit with a different group during your lunch or common hour. Make an effort to connect with other sisters in your organization as if you were meeting a potential little. There must be some common ground if you felt drawn to the same organization, so don’t let nerves tell you they won’t be interested in hanging out.

Try connecting with recent alumnae from your chapter or organization. Even if they aren’t around during chapter events, it’s great to talk with someone who understands your sorority but isn’t involved in any of its current drama. Branch out even further and connect with other members of your school’s Greek life and make friends in other organizations, too. You aren’t limited to being friends with only the people in your sorority and you might find an unlikely match wearing different letters than you.

don't get along with your sorority

Above all, give yourself mental check-ins to make sure you’re feeling okay. It might even help to talk to a parent, friend from home, or peer support group at your university to work out any tension. Greek life might not always be the movie that you thought it would be, but don’t let yourself feel down if your experience isn’t typical.

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